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Davis and Droz don't really like playing UFC 2009 Undisputed.

Written by Michael Davis.
Starring Michael Davis and Miguel Droz.
Photographed by Michael Davis and Miguel Droz.
Edited by Michael Davis.
Directed by Michael Davis.

Shot on location in Midtown in Atlanta, Georgia.
Released on August 24, 2009.
Photographed with a Canon VIXIA HF100 as AVCHD (1920x1080i@29.97).
Edited with Adobe Premiere Pro CS4.
Encoded with Adobe Media Encoder CS4 as H.264/MPEG-4 AVC (1920x1080p@29.97).

Davis' Blog Entry

Davis' Blog Entry Portrait
This skit was inspired by a recent Penny Arcade comic, one that I felt mirrored my own feelings I'd had for a while. I don't know when MMA got popular underneath my nose, all I know is one day there was either real boxing or fake wrestling for me to ignore, then the next day people were wearing TapouT (the unfortunate stylization) shirts and there was a third thing for me not to give a crap about. And, while we're on the subject... tapping out is what you do to say you've had enough, isn't it? Why would they name a company Tap Out? You wouldn't wear a t-shirt that said StopfightinG on it, would you?

It only took a few moments of playing UFC 2009 Undisputed before this skit wrote itself in my head. Googling the game to see if anyone had anything nice to say about it (and, I guess not surprisingly, they did, lots of people did), I found comments in forums like this: "I dont know about the grapling aspect of the game. I think the stand-up is alot better then the grappeling. it is way to easy for a guy to be on the bottom and still be abel to mount you." I don't... I really don't know what to say to that. UFC 2009 Undisputed is a game where, by all accounts, and I quote: a guy on the bottom can easily mount you.

Am I being an immature douche-bag, the likes of which the Think B4 U Speak campaign is trying to reform? Probably. But let's take a gander at the different fighting styles on display; styles like the forceful yet efficient Brazilian Jiu Jitsu:

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

How about the most popular organized sport of The Ancient World, Grecian Wrestling:

Grecian Wrestling

Equally impressive is the subtle grace of the Japanese gendai budō, Judo:


And don't forget the "Art of Eight Limbs" of savage Thailand, Muay Thai:

Muay Thai

Honestly, at least 90% of screenshots online look like this. And the game plays the same too. If it's not semi-nude erotic grapple showdowns, it's, as Tycho so eloquently opined, "twenty minutes of sweaty dick punching".

Droz's Blog Entry

Droz's Blog Entry Portrait
I'd like to share with everyone a screenshot I recently captured from my iPhone:

Droz's iPhone Screen Capture

And that's how this baby got started. After Davis saw the Penny Arcade comic, we knew we wanted to make a skit about Ultimate Fighting, and once Davis had played UFC 2009 Undisputed, he couldn't help but see something other than Ultimate Fighting Championship style fighting on the television screen before him. We tossed around a few ideas, one of them being that one of the two people playing the game was clearly not amused by it, while the other would be silently enjoying the scenes of man on man slap and tickle sessions.

The final draft of the script ended up being what you see before you. And let me tell you, writing a script about gay porn is one thing, but pulling the trigger on that sum'bitch is wholly another. Looking over at Davis' desk and seeing him browse a website he would later tell me is called Lusty Puppy is one of the more surreal moments of our long, long friendship. And when he complained that he couldn't find any softcore gay porn of decent quality (video resolution wise, he wasn't having a hard time finding suitable content) I unfortunately offered to do some research on my own for high definition naked gay wrestling.

I should not have clicked that search button. One silver lining is that I can tell you now the Bing engine is indeed pretty helpful.

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